how to beat self comparison, life struggles and mental health

Why can't life be simple. I feel like for some it is. And for some the hand they got dealt is not so simple to win the game of life with.

I have never been one to complain about the cards I have been dealt. Yes, I had to grow up so much faster, have to navigate a lot of grown up situations, but my needs last to prioritise other situations. It has always been one thing after the other. I have never complained.

But after 28 years of it, it would be nice to have a break.

I feel like anytime I do try to let myself have a break, catch my breath, something horrible happens and it burst my bubble and bring me back to reality.

Now I know on Instagram -the trips, outfit picks and daily stories may make it seem the opposite of the last few sentences. People only show you what they want you to see. That is why its so important to realise that peoples lives are not always as they post.

Comparison is the thief of all joy

I was listening to this pod cast and this psychologist said something along the lines of :

If you are comparing yourself, your life to someone else and wishing you had what they had, you need to take their entire life. They may have a successful business, but their marriage maybe horrible. They maybe travelling all around the world but sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

Basically saying no one has it all. And if you are so jealous or constainly wishing you had what they have. You have to take thier entire life , not just the good.

We all can't have it all, all at once.

I am fully aware that we can't have it all. I used to think I could- I feel like I did at once but it was just a distraction from the cards I was dealt with in life. God bless therapy, right?

I think I try to " romanticise " my life. Make the small moments count. At the end of the day all we have is the moments and memories we make along the way, threw the chaos that is life.

Sometimes its okay just to take a step back, ground yourself, remember that all you need to be is you in the chaos.

Crazy divorce

Family drama

Lola ( my dogs) health issues

Car accidents

Nights in the hospital

My chronic neck, jaw , back, wrist pain

Death, after death, after death, after death

Work... stress

Small business stress

And then just the day to day crap we all face

I can not lie even when I am on these gorgeous vacations I do still carry the weight of all these things. Probably why I can not stop clenching my jaw in my sleep.

We can not outrun, or move away from our problems, they clearly will follow you where ever go.

Travelling does help me to get out of my body for a little. Gain perspective. Sometimes it is like an outside view of yourself and where you are at in life. No I do not just mean career wise, but mentally. Its a great way to shut out the outside noise.

Also, I used to get so annoyed when my mum would not stop taking photos of me and my siblings. Now, I get it. Sometimes when I feel like I have not done enough with my life, or I am wasting my life because other people are doing more or I am not where I want to be in life, that is when I look back at photos. My Instagram is a collection, a scrapbook of the great moments. I love to open my camera roll and scroll threw all the moments- small and big. We only take photos when we are happy, but those moments of grief and sadness we carry those, not in our camera rolls but in our hearts. We give the sad moments more weight than the happy moments- to which I understand why.

Those happy moments that I have some people would give anything to have just some of those moments despite my sad moments I carry with me, or the chronic pain I am always in, and everything else.

I think its okay to feel sorry for yourself ever once in a while. To wonder what the fuck is going on with my life. The why is this happening to me? The cant I just catch a break. I just need a few days of peace.

I always thought it was unexceptionable to think this way. I always just dealt with the cards I was handed and kept it moving, because I had to. I think if I just felt sorry and felt what I needed to as it came I would of been a little better off. The more we pile on ourseleves with out letting some of it go the harder it gets to walk threw life. You can not keep carrying that weight with you.

Its okay to feel sorry for yourself, you just cant let your self sit in it too long. You have to process it and keep on. You'll feel lighter for it.

Life can be exhausting. You never know what people are going through v.s. what they are showing you. We all have our own struggles. They may weigh more or less, but they are still struggles and we all handle them in different ways, That is okay as long as we take the time to handle and process them. You can'y compare one person, one situation to the next.

I think the only thing you should ever compare your self to is the person you were and the person you want to be.