Very reluctant to write this post. Although a lot of good happened this year. This was the year specifically December 1st that I finally broke.
If you have read my past blog posts:
You know I have had a lot of experience with death, illnesses, mental health etc..
The etc.. being all the things in-between that I do not share. Bullying in the workplace, personal health issues, family issues, and my mind just wondering wtf am I doing with my life, why is my business not consistent etc...
Anyway, this year another family member passed away, and in December my uncle told us he has cancer. I do not have much family, I do not have much family that I am close to either, and they all seem to be passing away or going through something horrible. This is the same week my aunt will be finding out more about her tumor.
I do think these blog post are good because it gives me prospective as to the fact that I have lived a lot of happy moments.
However, when it has been one thing after another, especially health and death that you do not have control over it makes it hard to focus on the good.
January
Work stress, getting sick and dealing with a narcissist. I kept the last 3 years getting sick so I was trying to not... however event before my Greece trip later in the year I got sick. However, I handled my mental health at work. I stopped trying to fix things with a co-worker and put up boundaries! I have less anxiety going into work.
February
Early birthday celebration, Valentine's Day and celebrating a friend. Again another low-key month! My friend took me out to the Well in Toronto and then to dinner. Its always a good time just to sit and chat with a friend. For Valentine's Day my man made me a cute pasta dinner and we had a chill night in. I remember it was the day of a massive snow storm. I was walking home from work and whipped out because it was so slippery. Use
March
I always do something super low-key for my birthday. Just the family, dinner and cake. I just like chill vibes. We did end up going out this year, which was nice but I prefer my mums cooking always.
My career. I feel like once I put up boundaries at work I stopped dulling my light to make the other person comfortable. I really leaned into my creative side, pushed my comfort level and started to design some really cool rooms. I got such great feedback! ... only insecure people see your success as a threat.
Triple date! I got to hangout with my mans friends and we had such a great time.
April
I got sick before Greece... The day we landed I felt better and was able to enjoy!
I have travel guides here:
This was a dream vacation for me. Every since I was a kid I have always wanted to go. We did have a horrible flight back. Getting stuck in a bunch of countries, lay overs, flight cancelled. I was ready to commit to moving to Germany. I really thought we would be stuck there.
HOWEVER!! It was such a amazing trip filled with history, culture, amazing food and amazing people.
May
May was busy! I went out with friends, I feel like my style got way better this month too! Also, it was the start of market season!
My business Sweet and Spicy Jewls - I create jewellery, shirts, and notebooks.
I feel like I had a good grasp this month of balancing living in Toronto, seeing my friends, and spending time with my family.
It was also the one year anniversary of my grandmothers passing... It is always weird no matter how much time goes on it is always something you feel
June
There was a lot more family events, weddings, going out, I had a 3 day market for Sweet and Spicy Jewls. I also do a lot of physical work at work. I do not just fluff pillows as an interior decorator. I am building walls, painting, building, installing etc..
So even though this month in photos looks amazing I can feel my body hurting. And I still have neck issues from car accidents. FYI both were not my fault I was stopped and hit both times... That and all the deaths, health issues of the family - thats why December 1st this year was my I am feed up point. The point of I am tired of powering through. I normal am very good at being logical and keep going. But that was why I had a breaking point.
July
Work was busy. I also made myself more busy by starting to plan co-worker events. Events that make the workplace a place you want to come to.
Spent some time with my friend - we normally go to the Toronto Flower Market and get brunch. We also got crafty and made floral candles.
I had a family wedding. Normally I do not go to family weddings very often. I have only really gone to friends weddings the past few years.
My Etsy also got banned. They took down my website I do not know why. They have been doing this to a few people. But this was a major lose - they do help with marketing despite their heavy fees. I think they thought I was drop shipping... which I was not. I also looked at other accounts. I could clearly tell they were drop shipping but they were not getting banned.
I also believe this is the month my mums cousin passed away- I know it is so bad I do not remember. However, when I do these blog posts I look back at my camera role to remember and I do not take photos of these horrible events.
August
I tried to enjoy the last month of summer.
My at the time boyfriend and I did a couples trip with his friends to Muskoka and it was what my soul needed. DESPITE being sick AGAIN... ever since I moved to Toronto I get sick nonstop. I really enjoyed it. I woke up early had my coffee outside and read. We talked, played games, cooked together. It was so nice to be in nature with good company.
I also explored some new cafes in Toronto. Tried to apply for more markets to be in. I also launched new Sweet and Spicy products! Custom necklaces with horoscope, birth stone and initials - which are waterproof and tarnish free.
I also launched t-shirts! 100% cotton duh lol and just fun!
I also got reallly into reading. I will make a separate post about the books I vibed in 2024.
September
More markets. I also tried to just be in my backyard with my doggo Lola. I love to just sit there and enjoy nature before the winter. My mum always plants a bunch of vegtables and herbs so its so nice to pick from the garden and cook with things she has grown.
I also helped to plan my mans 30th surprise birthday. It was so hard because it was so last minute. He gets his work schedule last minute so to confirm that people would be there was stressful.
October
It was my grandpas anniversary of his death- again its been three years and it still is something that hits you. Maybe a little less than the last year but it does bring up questions, regrets. Regrets that I thought I had processed.
I also had NO IDEA I was going to get engaged!
I thought I was going to my mans friends engagement party. Really my man rented a home in the beached in Toronto and proposed. I think it was perfectly done.
We had a day to ourselves, the next day the family came over and then in the afternoon our friends came. I loved that.
FYI I also got sick prior to getting proposed to which got my man sick so he was not 100% when he proposed - I am really starting to get annoyed with how sick I am getting, and how often. As I am going threw this blog post and listing off all the times I have gotten sick I am aware that it is the politics at work and the fact that the city is gross..
November
I am not Hindu but my partners mum wanted to do a Puja to bless the engagement. It was fun and interesting to see the traditions. Also, did two more markets. November flew by, I did not really get into the Christmas vibe.
December
Went to see my friend from high school for a quick catch up. Told her about my year and my engagement. I feel like this may have been a sign but she was like damn you and your family are always going through a lot, no break one horrible thing after another.
The next day my mum gets a phone call from my uncle. He was keeping this from the family. He know during my engagement. He said he has cancer in his mouth and on Friday he will be going in for surgery. I WAS DONE.
I feel like every since I was small it has been one thing after another, I really had to grow up faster mentally then most. I never complained, I powered threw. I am not one to express emotion, I am very logical. BUT this I was just done - my mind, body and soul.
I do not want to be Gods strongest warrior. I would like to be receiving the blessing package for 2025.
I always do try to look at the positive of all I have done this year etc.. BUT when it comes to someones health, something you have no control over. All the blessings, the things you have earned just dont feel as prominent as the horrible life events.
I also get annoyed because their are people who are just so mean, create issues and I am here dealing with real issues. Even if you turn on the news, people are suffering. And then people who have the privilege of a peaceful life chose to create chaos and bully others - it is disgusting.
Tell me how your 2024 was!! Leave a comment and tell me what you hope for in 2025!
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